Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Yup yup todays blog is song lyrics. Fairly popular ones at that. But I only heard, nah I only LISTENED to this song for the first time last night. I had heard it plenty of times before, when walking around HMV, or on the radio etc. But when it I had my iPod on random last night and this came on I actually stopped and listened to it for once, after all I could relate to the song title at the very least.
Now at first this blog was supposed to be about either this song, or this one, (Be sure to have a pop-up blocker if you click either of those links, if you don't have one yet theres a great one included in Google Toolbar.) and both of those songs are relevant to what I'm feeling lately, but both of them want to make me sing out it, something which is almost contradictory to what I SHOULD be doing. But 'Goodbye My Lover' on the other hand makes me what to cry about it, it makes me remember the past, and I dunno but that just feels right.
Most of the lines in this song have a certain resonance in my heart, seriously ask me about any of them and theres most likely a story to tell, however I just cannot agre with the last last of this song, certain not as much as the last ones in this one. I've never felt hollow, I may have felt worthless, but I've always felt SOMETHING. Maybe I'm just too realistically optimistic, if that is indeed a phrase? I know it would never work, me being realistic, however that doesn't stop me wishing for it, me being optimistic.
Anywho enough of the emoness - in the context of emotional rantings.
Today I paid for my lack of work yesturday and had to work almost solidly for 5 hours, luckily it was a Sunday then!
Unfortunatly I have yet to make any headway on my essay for Uni, that will HAVE to be started tomorrow. I'm at Uni anyway so I shall have to get some books out of the library, and despite my reluctance to make a fool out of myself try and figure out how to use the photocopier to make use of some of the Univercities KeyText books. However if anyone knows ANYTHING about the crusades in the 11th and 12th centuries any hellp will be greatly appreciated as you'll know a LOT more than me!
Alas my efforts to get my essay done may be hampered by the release of Casino Royale on DVD, and Enter Shikaris new album.
So heres looking forward to watching kewl movies, listening to kewl music and generally being distracted from the work that I should be doing!
Impulse
Sunday, 18 March 2007
Even heroes aren't perfect
It's a wonder he isn't a villian
He's got every excuse. Born to poverty. A broken family. A childhood spent in a squalid slum. Hounded and taunted and beaten by schoolyard bullies. To top it all off he gets struck in the eyes by toxic waste and blinded for life.
Blinded, bullied, impoverished. Surrounded by calamity.
Role models? His mother, and enigma. Long gone by the time he could walk. His father, a well-meaning loser who paid for his greatest moment of courage when a bullet splattered his brains across a grimsy alleywall. His teacher, a gruff, foul-mouthed warrior who showed him the beauty in his dark world, then dismissed him as a wretched failure.
His love life? Nothing short of disastrous.
He's got all the makings of a villian. He's a natural born rascal, a mischeif-maker, a scrapper. He's a liar, who wears a mask to betray the solemn oath he made to his father a thousand times, he's a dangerous adept, gifted with a nearly superhuman talent for violence. He's a loner, a sinner, a lawyer who breaks the law.
And then there's that wicked temper of his.
He's got every excuse in the world, and within him are the makings.
But Matt Murdock is no villian, and no victim. There's something strong inside him, passed form unknown mother and doomed father to son. Something tested by tragedy. Tempered by conscience. Honed by discipline. Something that holds back the bloodthirsty beast within and forces it to serve the cause of justice.
Most of the time, anyway.
Of course his quest is a tortured one, fraught with failure and guilt and pain. It has to be that way. Nothing ever comes easy for Matt Murdock. But every ordeal is another step in his crooked path from naughty little street kid to improbable champion.
A tortured quest. One that leaves him far from perfect.
He may never join the holy that his teacher hinted at.
But he will do the best he can, this hero.
He'll fight the bullies till the day he dies.
Frank Miller
Los Angeles 1993
Just to continue the 'superhero' theme that this blog seems to have adopted I present to you the preface to... well actually I'll leave that up to you to find out, but needless to say it inspired me. I can't really tell how, but its just like anyone can be a Hero, no matter what their past is, no matter what their disability, just as long as they have the spirit to make it work and not let the bullies win.
Now I'm not saying that I've got that amount of spirit, but I am saying I'm getting more lately. I AM going to try and be a stronger person, I'm just afraid that I'm mucked things up beyond repair this time. It may be fun to 'live in the moment' but eventually that 'moment' WILL come to an end and you have to face the consequences of all the actions you thought were worth it at the time. You live, you learn, I guess. Lets just hope I've learnt my lesson and get my essays for Uni started sometime soon then! Nothing should get in the way of my future... just as soon as I figure out what I want my future to be, or at least the parts of it I control.
I'm not going to let the bullies win.
Impulse
He's got every excuse. Born to poverty. A broken family. A childhood spent in a squalid slum. Hounded and taunted and beaten by schoolyard bullies. To top it all off he gets struck in the eyes by toxic waste and blinded for life.
Blinded, bullied, impoverished. Surrounded by calamity.
Role models? His mother, and enigma. Long gone by the time he could walk. His father, a well-meaning loser who paid for his greatest moment of courage when a bullet splattered his brains across a grimsy alleywall. His teacher, a gruff, foul-mouthed warrior who showed him the beauty in his dark world, then dismissed him as a wretched failure.
His love life? Nothing short of disastrous.
He's got all the makings of a villian. He's a natural born rascal, a mischeif-maker, a scrapper. He's a liar, who wears a mask to betray the solemn oath he made to his father a thousand times, he's a dangerous adept, gifted with a nearly superhuman talent for violence. He's a loner, a sinner, a lawyer who breaks the law.
And then there's that wicked temper of his.
He's got every excuse in the world, and within him are the makings.
But Matt Murdock is no villian, and no victim. There's something strong inside him, passed form unknown mother and doomed father to son. Something tested by tragedy. Tempered by conscience. Honed by discipline. Something that holds back the bloodthirsty beast within and forces it to serve the cause of justice.
Most of the time, anyway.
Of course his quest is a tortured one, fraught with failure and guilt and pain. It has to be that way. Nothing ever comes easy for Matt Murdock. But every ordeal is another step in his crooked path from naughty little street kid to improbable champion.
A tortured quest. One that leaves him far from perfect.
He may never join the holy that his teacher hinted at.
But he will do the best he can, this hero.
He'll fight the bullies till the day he dies.
Frank Miller
Los Angeles 1993
Just to continue the 'superhero' theme that this blog seems to have adopted I present to you the preface to... well actually I'll leave that up to you to find out, but needless to say it inspired me. I can't really tell how, but its just like anyone can be a Hero, no matter what their past is, no matter what their disability, just as long as they have the spirit to make it work and not let the bullies win.
Now I'm not saying that I've got that amount of spirit, but I am saying I'm getting more lately. I AM going to try and be a stronger person, I'm just afraid that I'm mucked things up beyond repair this time. It may be fun to 'live in the moment' but eventually that 'moment' WILL come to an end and you have to face the consequences of all the actions you thought were worth it at the time. You live, you learn, I guess. Lets just hope I've learnt my lesson and get my essays for Uni started sometime soon then! Nothing should get in the way of my future... just as soon as I figure out what I want my future to be, or at least the parts of it I control.
I'm not going to let the bullies win.
Impulse
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